


sidekick

by orphan_account



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Best Friends to Lovers, F/M, Smut, Underage Drinking, bcs they're drunk, before clary finds out she's a shadowhunter, bisexual oc, chapters are annoyingly short, eric and matt from the very beginning of city of bones, i wrote this like a year ago and its bad, like this isnt good i'll be honest, one scene where consent is dubious, simon is still in love with clary, technically this is pre-shadowhunters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 08:09:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11596527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: 'why you should never be friends with the person that you have a crush on'or 'i'm sorry but we're meant for each other and we didn't realise'.





	1. drink to forget

**Author's Note:**

> maia mitchell as callahan archer
> 
> the link the spotify playlist - https://open.spotify.com/user/leiaorganic/playlist/5Z87QRPnFo1s6lO4UOTsrb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SIMON:  
> come 2 bar bartender won't serve us
> 
> CAL:  
> write a full sentence and I'll help you

⠀⠀⠀ **"I hope Matt and Simon come back with alcohol", Callahan mutters,** "I can't take much more of Eric's poetry."

⠀⠀⠀ "He's...  _trying_?" Clary says, in a tone which suggests that she thinks Eric is trying a little  _too_  much.

The person in question - Eric - is centre stage, clutching at his mic and yelling words like, ' _cutthroat_ ', ' _juggernaut_ ', ' _sorrow_ ', and ' _tender_ '. Sometimes his volume causes a screech of feedback that he takes in his stride - wailing along, like a cat that's just been stepped on. Callahan decides very quickly that she will only make it through this night if she is drunk, and  _that_  depends on whether or not Matt and Simon's fake IDs work.

⠀⠀⠀ "He sounds like he needs to vomit." Callahan shakes her head, watching Eric screw his face up in supposed agony and do something that make it look like he's trying to devour the microphone, "I can't believe someone is paying him money to do this."

⠀⠀⠀ "He's so  _bad_." Maureen groans holding her hands over her ears.

Callahan, who doesn't agree with Maureen as a general rule, finds herself agreeing with the girl, which is really a testament to how horrible Eric's poetry is. She sets her head in her hands. Her phone buzzes against her thigh, drawing her out of the foetal position that she's trying to crawl into.

 

**SIMON**   
_come 2 bar bartender won't serve us_

**CAL**   
_write a full sentence and I'll help you_

**SIMON**   
_Callahan Archer, I, Simon Lewis formally invite you to the bar, wherein I require your help to gain the attention of the bartender who is refusing us service, due to the fact that Mr M. Jameson and I look like twelve year olds._

**CAL**   
_See, that's all I wanted ;)_

**CAL**   
_I'll be over in a moment._

**SIMON**   
_dickhead_

 

⠀⠀⠀ " _Okay_ ", Callahan sighs, hoisting up her jeans and readjusting her t-shirt so optimal boob is showing, "Simon and Matt need my help. I'll be back, hopefully with alcohol."

⠀⠀⠀ "Here's to", Clary holds a bottle of water up in cheers, giggling.

⠀⠀⠀ "Wish me luck." She pushes off the couch.

⠀⠀⠀ "Good luck!", Maureen chirps.

She offers Maureen a smile, and waves her fingers at Clary, sauntering off. She spots Matt and Simon by the bar, where the bartender chats up a trio of women, ignoring the existence of her friends. She makes a beeline through the crowd, sliding onto the stool in between Matt and Simon when she gets there.

⠀⠀⠀ "Follow along", Callahan tells them, picking up Matt's arm and slinging it around her shoulders. (Simon scoffs next to her in what she supposes is jealousy that he doesn't get the role of pretend boyfriend). (Matt snorts at Simon's annoyance and offers him a smug smirk behind Callahan's back).

She leans forward over the bar, peering at the bartender on her left. She lifts her hand up signalling the bartender over. She bats her eyelashes and readjusts her top in an attempt to seduce him. The bartender, responding to her advances, apologises to the women he's bothering (they seem relieved) and moves over to the trio.

⠀⠀⠀ "Hi", Callahan says seductively, as she smirks up at him.

⠀⠀⠀His eyes flit momentarily to Matt's arm around her shoulder, in response to this, she shrugs the arm off, his smile grows slightly wider, "What can I do for you?"

Simon huffs.

⠀⠀⠀ "Can we get five beers, on tap please?"

⠀⠀⠀ "Sure, it's on the house if you give me your number."

 _Sucker_.

⠀⠀⠀ Callahan licks her lips, and glances towards Matt who is playing the part of angry boyfriend quite well, and then back to the bartender, "Okay, just get me something to write it on."

⠀⠀⠀ He pulls a pad and pen from his apron pocket and slides it across the counter. Callahan, holding back a laugh, writes Eric's number down and signs it ' _Chrysanthemum_ ', "Here you go", she slides it back across the table and smiles, "If you'd get us our drinks now."

He fills up five glasses with beer and sets them on a tray which Simon takes the liberty of carrying.

⠀⠀⠀ "Thanks", Callahan winks, " _Call me_."

With that she struts away, leaving her fake boyfriend (Matt) and personal waiter (Simon) to trail along behind her, and the bartender drooling. Once through the mass of people and out of sight of the bar, she slows and rejoins Simon and Matt.

⠀⠀⠀ "Holy shit that was fucking wild!", Matt declares.

⠀⠀⠀ "What can I say", Cal shrugs, laughing as they make their way back to the table Clary and Maureen have minded for them, and back within range of Eric's abysmal poetry.

Simon slides the drinks down onto the table, and takes his seat next to Maureen (who positively glows at being sat next to by Simon). Callahan and Matt take a seat on the other couch.

⠀⠀⠀ "Callahan", Clary announces, "I love you."

⠀⠀⠀ Cal beams, "Piece of cake."

⠀⠀⠀"He gave it to her on the house", Simon tells them, "Just because she gave him her number."

⠀⠀⠀ "Eric's number at that."

⠀⠀⠀ Speaking of Eric, he continues to wail in the distance, " _Come, my faux juggernaut, my nefarious loins! Slather every protuberance with arid zeal_!"

⠀⠀⠀ Callahan sighs, and grabs a glass of cold beer, " _Let's drink_. Let's drink to forget."

⠀⠀⠀ Simon holds his glass up, "Here's to Callahan's boobs. Scoring us free drinks since 2015."

⠀⠀⠀ "Fuck you Simon."

⠀⠀⠀ "Fuck you too Callahan."


	2. 70 per cent sure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She whacks him one more time, "I dunno, we were drunk I guess."

⠀⠀⠀  **She wakes up with her head pounding, and her body aching. Scrunching up her face, Callahan buries her nose into the pillow under her head, and wraps the duvet around her shoulders. She takes the time to roll her shoulders,** cringing at the sound of her bones grinding against each other. A frustrated groan escapes her lips when the duvet catches on something as she tries to roll over. With a resounding huff she wipes the rheum from her tear ducts, and rolls over to see who she's ended up in bed with.

⠀⠀⠀ "Oh", she mutters, unfazed when she sees Simon, his face squished, hair messy, and drooling into the pillow ( _his_  pillow - she recognises what she can see of the room now). She reaches out and whacks him in the face, "Wake up, asshole." He stirs, and she whacks him again, "Simon."

⠀⠀⠀ He wakes up this time. His eyes flutter open, accompanied by a scowl and a low groan. "Callahan?" He rasps, closing his eyes after he sees her, "Why are you in my bed?"

⠀⠀⠀ She whacks him one more time, "I dunno, we were drunk I guess."

It's not totally uncommon for Callahan to wake up in Simon's bed, or for Simon to wake up in Callahan's. If they're drunk Clary usually offloads them at the same place, and sometimes they just crash at each other's place in spite of themselves. Which is why neither of them notice what's wrong until it's too late.

Callahan rolls onto her back, as Simon tries for a nap. She allows herself a moment to assess and register the events of last night and her current state. The most she remembers of last night is Eric's shitty poetry, giving the bartender Eric's number, and making out with Matt after at least two free drinks and five shots. In her current state however; she notices three things. One, the splitting headache that she knows for sure is a hangover. Two, her vagina aches. Three, she is naked.

⠀⠀⠀ "Shit", she whispers.

⠀⠀⠀"Cal?"

⠀⠀⠀ " _Simon_ ", she whispers sharply, "Are you wearing clothes right now?"

⠀⠀⠀"What?"

⠀⠀⠀ "Answer me."

⠀⠀⠀ " _Shit_!"

She turns to look at him. His face is twisted into a horrified expression, one which very much reflects how she feels at this current time.

⠀⠀⠀ "Shit", he says again, "Did we have sex? Shit, man."

⠀⠀⠀ Callahan gulps, "I think we did."

⠀⠀⠀ " _Fuck_ ", he swears, "Did we use a condom? Holy shit, we'd better have. I can't handle kids. I don't want kids. I'm too young."

⠀⠀⠀ "Jesus Christ, how do you think I feel?", Callahan asks, rolling over and clambering out from under the covers, "Okay, okay. Calm down, don't panic until we're sure."

She climbs out of the bed and tries not to cringe at her completely absence of clothes.

⠀⠀⠀ " _Oh my god_!", Simon yelps, "Archer, CLOTHES!"

⠀⠀⠀ " _Yeah_ , I'm working on it!"

On the floor next to Simon's rolling chair are her underpants, which she pulls on despite her standards of personal hygiene.

⠀⠀⠀ "Here's your bra." Simon flings the offending article of clothing towards her, it hits her back and slides onto the floor.

⠀⠀⠀"Thanks", she says dryly, picking it up, and pulling it on.

Mostly clothed, she goes to Simon's wardrobe, and pulls a plain grey t-shirt of his off the hanger and then over her head.

⠀⠀⠀ " _Oi_ , don't steal my clothes."

Instead of replying Callahan throws a pair of boxers and sweatpants at Simon's face. He makes an annoyed noise, and the noise of the duvet being moved tells her that he's putting what she threw at him on.

⠀⠀⠀ "Holy crap, Simon."

⠀⠀⠀ "What?"

⠀⠀⠀ "I found the condom." She picks it with the tips of her acrylic fingernails, "It's used for sure. Somehow, though, it ended up next to your freshly printed resumé. I'm shocked that drunk you managed to get it this close to the bin."

⠀⠀⠀" _Gross_."

She pretends to flick it at him, to which he shrieks. Giggling, she drops it in the trash can.

⠀⠀⠀ "So", she collapses on the bed, "I'm a little disappointed you're not Matt."

⠀⠀⠀"Are you fucking serious?"

⠀⠀⠀ " _Yeah_ , I'm 70 per cent sure I was making out with him last night."

⠀⠀⠀ Simon splutters, "Well, I'm 70 per cent sure that that was me."

⠀⠀⠀ " _Ew_ ", she scowls, "Fuck you."

⠀⠀⠀ "You already did!"


	3. don't tell the girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ⠀⠀⠀ "Oh my god", Callahan exclaims, leaning toward Clary, "Do you want to know what his contact name in my phone is now?"
> 
> Simon inhales sharply, expecting the worst.
> 
> ⠀⠀⠀"Yes!"
> 
> ⠀⠀⠀ "Booty call."

**Her phone is wedged in between her ear and her shoulder as she makes various faces of disgust, looking through her cupboards. She throws half a loaf of stale bread in the bin, as Simon talks her ear off** , not letting her get a word in edge wise.

⠀⠀⠀ "We can't tell Clary", he tells her for the millionth time since calling her, "Like, there is no universe in which we can tell Clary about this. Do you understand that Callahan?"

⠀⠀⠀ "Yeah, yeah", Callahan brushes if off like she does to most things Simon says. She scowls at the stale bag of chips she has to throw away also, "Sure. Look, can you meet me at the café down from my house in fifteen minutes? I have no food and I'm craving a raspberry muffin right now."

⠀⠀⠀ He sighs and it comes through all crackly, "Okay, see you then. But remember don't—"

She hangs up.

An eye roll later and she's in her room changing into something just as comfortable as her Star Wars pyjamas' but infinitely more stylish and socially acceptable.

 

TO:  **clary**  
 _meet me at café in 10 pls!! i've got no breakfast_

FROM:  **clary**  
 _sure! see you soon_

TO:  **clary**  
 _simon and maybe reid are coming too_

FROM:  **clary**  
 _rad. order for me please xoxo_  
  


 

TO:  **reid**  
 _hey mr edgy. wake up. do u want to meet si, clary and i at the café near my house that i forgot the name of_

FROM:  **reid**  
 _ajd Yjwes_

FROM:  **reid**  
 _meed 2nwak up_

TO:  **reid**  
 _ok see you soon reid_  
  
  


None of her friends show at the café when she arrives, so she orders their usual and sits down where they usually sit.

Simon shows up first, looking slightly more stressed than normal, his hair messy and glasses a little crooked, nevertheless he grins awkwardly at her (still not entirely over the idea that they had fucked) and sits down.

⠀⠀⠀ "Hey Cal", he scratches his chin, "For real, I still like Clary" – Cal rolls her eyes – "We don't need to tell her about it."

⠀⠀⠀ "Tell her about what?", in all her red-headed glory, Clary shows up seemingly out of nowhere, and scares the shit out of Simon.

⠀⠀⠀"Uh, well n-nothing", Simon stutters, chest heaving from the loud yelp he had made upon Clary's arrival, "Nothing important at least. Don't – don't worry about it at all."

The thing is, Simon and Callahan are good liars. God knows Simon has had enough practice as he tries not to embarrass himself, and Callahan just seems to have a natural talent. But Clary has been their best friend since they were all in diapers and she knows when there's something happening.

⠀⠀⠀ Clary looks to Callahan, "What is it?"

She knows from the shit-eating grin on Callahan's face that she will fold, and voluntarily too.

⠀⠀⠀ Cal glances at Simon almost sympathetically, her grin faded to a sharp smirk, then back to Clary, " _Look_ , Clary. Simon and I have something to tell you –"

⠀⠀⠀ "You're dating!", Clary shrieks in excitement, seeming entirely sure of her 'discovery'.

⠀⠀⠀ "No!", Simon yelps, his face burning red, "We just had sex! We're not dating!"

He clamps a hand over his mouth, looking very much like he wants to right here and now. Callahan shakes with laughter (this is better than anything she could have ever imagined).

⠀⠀⠀ "Are you for fucking real?", Clary asks, eyes wide, looking back and forth between them.

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah", Callahan's shit-eating grin is back.

⠀⠀⠀ "When?", Clary demands

⠀⠀⠀ "A few nights ago", Callahan says, "When we went out. We got shit-faced. I thought I was kissing Matt - it was Simon apparently. We  _somehow_  got in without waking up his entire family and then apparently had sex...  _well_ no, not apparently. We did."

⠀⠀⠀"Holy shit", Clary breathes.

⠀⠀⠀ "I know right."

Simon shakes his head.

⠀⠀⠀ " _Oh my god_ ", Callahan exclaims, leaning toward Clary, "Do you want to know what his contact name in my phone is now?"

Simon inhales sharply, expecting the worst.

⠀⠀⠀"Yes!"

⠀⠀⠀ "Booty call."

⠀⠀⠀ " _Fucking hell_ ", Simon gets up, "I need to go. I need to leave. I'll speak to you two again when I feel like I'll never think about this ever again.  _Goodbye_."

They watch as he hurries out the door, red in the face. His coffee and snacks arrive seconds after he flees.

⠀⠀⠀ "So", Clary says, once she can no longer see Simon, "What's he like in bed?"

⠀⠀⠀ Callahan snorts, raising her eyebrow, "You shouldn't be asking questions like that Clary, people might get the wrong idea."

⠀⠀⠀ Clary shrugs, "I'm not the one who had sex with my childhood best friend."

⠀⠀⠀ "Fair enough."

Callahan bites her lip before answering Clary's question. She remembers snippets of that night. Very little... but enough.

His lips soft against her neck. The way his hips rolled deliciously against hers. Her fingernails scratching against his back. The soft moan of her name. The muscles in his arms and shoulders that she often forgets he has. A shiver runs down her spine and goosebumps raise on her arms.

⠀⠀⠀ " _Uh_ ", she says dumbly, she blinks a few times and then grins again, regaining a sense of composure, "Let's just say that he hasn't put to waste the years he spent on his  
own."

⠀⠀⠀ "You are revolting."

⠀⠀⠀ " _Surprisingly_  Clary, you don't seem to mind it."

A voice interrupts their laughter.

⠀⠀⠀ "Why did I just walk past Simon running the opposite way and looking like he needed to barf?"

⠀⠀⠀ "Oh hey Reid", Callahan passes the elder boy his coffee, "Simon and I had sex."

⠀⠀⠀"Eugh,  _gross_."


	4. stress relief?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Fuck it', she says to herself over and over again as she takes a deep breath (honestly she can't fucking believe what she's doing) and makes her way over to where Simon is sitting cross-legged on his bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning this is full of bad smut

⠀⠀⠀ **"Simon", Cal whines, "I don't give a shit about your fucking song!** I came here to play Skyrim with you, and suddenly this song you're writing is of vital importance?"

⠀⠀⠀ "Cal", he mumbles, distracted, "I need to get it out okay, if I don't write it down I wont remember it."

⠀⠀⠀ She rolls her eyes, "Simon, for real. I didn't come here for you to write soppy shit about Clary and wallow about the fact that Matt likes her too -  _I'm_  supposed to do that shit with her, honestly you're fucking up the preconceived gender roles."

⠀⠀⠀"Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?", he asks with a smirk.

⠀⠀⠀ " _Theoretically_!"

⠀⠀⠀ "Ten minutes", is all he says.

Callahan runs a hand through her hair and leaves the room to find something to eat. She fills the ten minutes he asks for by eating crackers and drinking his orange juice. When she comes back he hasn't budged and only gestures at her to ask for more time, rather than speak. Seven minutes later and she is just about ready to get up and just leave. She's been here an hour already waiting for him to 'finish up'.

⠀⠀⠀ "Jesus fucking christ", she whispers to herself, leaning against the doorway.

She debates leaving, but before she can actually commit to it, the most obscene idea she could think surfaces in her brain.

 _Fuck it_  she says to herself over and over again as she takes a deep breath ( _honestly_  she can't fucking believe what she is doing) and makes her way over to where Simon is sitting cross-legged on his bed.

⠀⠀⠀ She rests her chin on his shoulder, "Simon c'mon", she tries one last time.

⠀⠀⠀ "Just lemme –", he trails off as he gets lost in annotating the music.

She rolls her eyes again.

Simon stiffens considerably when her lips attach to just behind his jaw, the loose tresses of her soft hair brushing against his neck. He hardly realises when his eyes flutter closed and his neck arches sideways. Her lips glide down his neck to his shoulder, where she leaves them as she snatches his pen out of his grip. With a self-satisfied 'a-ha!' she takes the notepad also and drops them in his drawer.

He feels the loss of her lips against his skin substantially, a shiver runs through him and be can't be sure if it he is cold or if he just wants her (but that is only because he is scared). Then Callahan returns, holding the Xbox controller, plopping herself in front of him, a huge grin on her face.

His mouth still hangs open.

⠀⠀⠀ She taps it closed, giggling, "Wouldn't want to catch flies now would we?"

Simon can't be sure what comes over him in the next few moments, but he just sort of goes with it and he kisses her.

She drops the Xbox controller.

She is stiff with shock for only a moment, but soon her hands are on his knees to help her lean forward, and she is kissing him back.

She pulls away to breathe for a moment, only to be pulled back in. Their noses brush and they spend a while with their lips going between only just touching and not touching at all. Slowly, Callahan climbs onto Simon's lap, and pushes him so he is laying down. She straddles him, her hands on either side of his shoulders and her legs on either side of his hips. He has to prop himself up by his elbows to reach her lips.

They're lost in a state of euphoria and somehow both of them have decided to abandon all rationality

Callahan crosses the threshold that takes what started as kissing to something more, when her hands move to the hem of his shirt,  one of them sliding up his chest.

He moans lightly into her mouth, which then moves her to grip the both the ends of his shirt and to pull it off.

Inadvertently, as she drops his t-shirt to the floor, her ass presses against his dick. He tries to hold in his sharp intake of breath as it physically twitches, but is unsuccessful.

 _God_  does this scare him.

He sits up, helping her to pull off her jumper and presses his lips against hers. His right hand holds her face and the tips of his fingers stroke her hair as they kiss.

She shifts backwards on his legs and her fingers slide tantalisingly down his torso. One makes it's way unexpectedly down the front of his pants and the other snakes it's way around to dig its nails into his back.

His breathing grows shorter and shakier as her fingers, long and nimble, stroke his cock through the material of his underwear.

⠀⠀⠀ " _Shit_ ", he whispers, his head dropping to rest on her shoulder.

She squirms slightly when he accidentally lets a whiny moan fall from his lips, and he decides that it's probably nigh time that he reciprocates. Slowly he nudges her hand out from his pants (almost crying at the loss of contact) and she rests it over his shoulder.

He flips them over, so that her back is on the bed. She shuts her eyes as he slides her sweatpants off her legs, leaving her in her bra and panties. He kisses her lightly on the cheek, as his hand - like she did to him - inches into her underpants. She pants into the crook of his neck as his index finger rubs circles into her clit.

She gasps his name and he wonders if he has heard anything better than that sound before (probably not he decides).

Callahan grows slightly frantic and stops him to tug off the layers on his bottom half.

⠀⠀⠀ "We need a condom", Simon mutters, his face pressed against her neck.

⠀⠀⠀ "Fuck", Callahan rolls her eyes, "get it yourself lazy ass."

He snorts only slightly and leans over to grab one from his bedside table. He passes it to Callahan who (with swiftness he didn't know she possessed) rips it open. He hisses as she rolls it on (and she uses this momentary vulnerability to flip him over).

Slowly, she lowers herself onto him. Biting her lip and clutching Simon's wrist to deal with the weird, rapturous mix of pain and pleasure. Eventually, finally, its is comfortable enough for both of them.

Her chin is tucked into the crook of his neck. She moans his name as he rolls his hips up into her at a slow but constant pace. A pace, although it manages to hit the perfect spot, that eventually just doesn't cut it anymore.

⠀⠀⠀ "Simon", she struggles to catch her breath as she talks, "Please."

He obliges to her request. The both of them are sent to a place of ecstasy in which the outside world is forgotten. All she can think about is the way he makes her stomach clench, and her toes curl.

She cant pinpoint exactly what feeling he gives her even when they're tangled in an exhausted, sweaty heap, her head laying on his bare chest, and her hair sticking to the nape of her neck from sweat.


	5. you just don't know it yet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ⠀⠀⠀ "What did you say his name was!?"
> 
> The birds perched nearby fly away at her shriek, as if they are in a movie.
> 
> ⠀⠀⠀ Clary hugs her take away latte to her chest, defensively she mutters, "Hunter Novavich-Smith-Ludvig."

⠀⠀⠀ **"What did you say his name was!?"**

The birds perched nearby fly away at her shriek, as if they are in a movie.

⠀⠀⠀ Clary hugs her take away latte to her chest, defensively she mutters, "Hunter Novavich-Smith-Ludvig."

⠀⠀⠀ Callahan laughs loudly and unashamedly, "Did this guy come out of a YA novel Clary, because that is some fucked up shit.  _Like_  did they just not know who his parents were?"

⠀⠀⠀ "It's complicated!", Clary protests.

⠀⠀⠀ "You mean he hasn't told you yet."

⠀⠀⠀ Clary makes a face, "We're not even official yet. We literally went on  _one_  date, what makes you think he's told me why his last name makes it seem like he has three sets of parents."

⠀⠀⠀ "You'd think he would shorten it"

Clary shrugs.

Callahan's phone buzzes in her pocket, and a glimmer of hope passes over her face. She checks it, only for her expression to go straight back to 'disappointed'.

⠀⠀⠀ Clary furrows her eyebrows, "Were you expecting something?"

⠀⠀⠀ Callahan looks back at the redhead as if she had forgotten she was even there, " _Um_ , Simon. He's not answering my texts. I thought that was him, but it was just my service provider telling me I'm running out of data."

⠀⠀⠀ "You were both  _drunk_!", Clary exclaims, "I thought he was over it? I  _swear_ sometimes Simon need to pull that stick out of his ass."

⠀⠀⠀ Callahan blushes, "Yeah,  _about that_. We did it last weekend."

⠀⠀⠀ "You lied to me!?" Clary blanches, "Whats the point in that? Why would you tell me you had sex before you actually did it?", she waves her arms around frantically and Callahan has to duck out of the way.

⠀⠀⠀ "No, no, no. Let me rephrase that; We had sex AGAIN, for the second time, last Saturday."

After that Clary looks like she's been hit over the head with a steel rod.

⠀⠀⠀ "Is this a fucking joke?", Clary asks, glaring now, "It's got to be an elaborate joke. You've both been fucking with me this whole time haven't you?"

⠀⠀⠀ Callahan shakes her head, "I'm afraid not. Simon really is ignoring me, and we really did have sex twice. Consensually too."

⠀⠀⠀ The redhead takes a sip of her coffee, and places her hand on her forehead, "I can't believe this. I've been waiting for something like this to happen between you two for so long now! I have been shipping Calmon since we met, you have no idea Cal."

⠀⠀⠀ "Calmon?  _Shipping!?_ What the hell?"

⠀⠀⠀ Clary gets this look in her eye that Callahan cant shake, "You guys are perfect for each other. I'm not exaggerating that."

Callahan's heart aches for Simon. The poor guy had been pining for Clary for god knows how long and that whole time she'd been wanting him to get together with someone else.

⠀⠀⠀ Callahan shakes her head, "Babe. Look, Simon doesn't like me. It was all in the heat of the moment and we're not going to do it again, or even make anything out of it. We're just good friends. Like you and him, like you and me, like us and Reid."

⠀⠀⠀ The look comes back and Callahan decides that she  _really_  hates it because it makes her feel things she doesn't want to, "You and I don't look at each other like you and him do. You should see how you act together. Even before all this, it looks like you've been together for years Cal."

⠀⠀⠀ "How Clary?", she asks sardonically, not expecting a reply, but getting one anyway.

⠀⠀⠀ "Well for starters, you're always touching,  _like_  ALWAYS. You are the  _only one_  he'll let read his songs before he's finished them. He looks at you like the sun shines out your ass. You hold his hand when he's sad. The mere fact that when you're drunk I drop you both off at one of your houses and when I see you the next day it's like you had time to go home and get changed, even though you didn't. Not to mention you sing together sometimes. Cal you cant get more  _mentally_   _together_  than that –"

⠀⠀⠀ " _Stop_  Clary"

⠀⠀⠀ "Don't hide from the possibility that you could like each other."

⠀⠀⠀ " _He doesn't like me Clary_!"

An old lady passing by glares at them.

⠀⠀⠀ Clary frowns, "I'm sorry Cal."

⠀⠀⠀ "Don't be", she says as Clary pulls her into a hug, "It's not your fault I'm stunted emotionally."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the best part of this is blatant dig at the names of boys in YA books.  
> the worst thing is the dramatic things callahan says about her emotional unavailability.


	6. i never loved you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ⠀⠀⠀ Reid takes a deep breath, "Wow. If that wasn't sexual tension then I don't know what was."
> 
> ⠀⠀⠀ "Shut up, Reid."

⠀⠀⠀ **"Clary", Callahan whacks the other girl's arm, " _Look_  at her."**

Clary looks away from her conversation with Simon (who is still avoiding Callahan as much as he can), and over to where Callahan is pointing. The dim lights prevent her from seeing totally clearly but she can  _just_  make out who the girl is pointing to.

⠀⠀⠀ "That's Matt? You know him dumbass."

⠀⠀⠀ Callahan rolls her eyes, " _No kidding_. I mean the girl next to him Clary, the one who looks like she could slay my entire existence and I would be one hundred per cent okay with it."

⠀⠀⠀ "Oh! That's Matt's cousin Elsie, she's visiting from South Africa. The one next to her is her half-brother Rufus."

⠀⠀⠀ " _Yeah_ ", Callahan sighs breathily, "I don't really care about him."

Clary glances at Simon, who is once again looking at Callahan like she's torn out his heart. He looks away awkwardly when he notices Clary watching.

⠀⠀⠀"Are they going to come over here?", Callahan asks, narrowly avoiding the drink she'd partially spilled as she whips around.

⠀⠀⠀ Clary shrugs, "Well yeah, if Matt's coming I'm sure they'll come too."

⠀⠀⠀ "Shit."

As if Elsie can hear them she turns away from Matt and Rufus with an eye roll and  _fucking struts_  their way. Clary hears Callahan  _actually_ squeak and has to hold in a bark of laughter. She looks to Reid, who is brooding and nursing a beer, he raises an eyebrow at Callahan's expression.

⠀⠀⠀ "Hi", Elsie sits down on the couch across from them (next to Reid, who shifts away, swallowing down his beer), she grins radiantly and looks between the four of them, "I'm Elsie, Matt's cousin", she shakes Clary's hand, "Nice to meet you."

⠀⠀⠀ "Nice to meet you too", Clary beams, "I'm Clary Fray."

⠀⠀⠀ Elsie nods with a smile, she looks to Callahan. Callahan, maintaining her dignity, sends Elsie a lopsided grin, "My name's Callahan, I'm Clary's best friend."

She then looks to Reid, who simply nods.

⠀⠀⠀"Reid."

Clary rolls her eyes.

⠀⠀⠀ Elsie greets Simon last, who of course makes an idiot of himself, "Lewis. Simon Lewis."

Callahan snorts (which pales in contrast to Elsie's fucking delicate  _tinkle of a laugh_ ).

⠀⠀⠀ " _Jesus christ_ ", he mutters under his breath, "I'm not James Bond for gods sake."

There is brief chatter that fills the gaps for a while until Clary notices Matt gesturing at her through the dispersing crowd.

⠀⠀⠀ " _Um_ ", Clary shrugs, confused as  
to why Matt would want to speak to her - but not one to turn him down, "I'll be back I guess."

She goes over to Matt and leaves an awkward gap in between Simon and Callahan that neither of them want to fill.

⠀⠀⠀" _So_ ", Elsie smiles politely, "Are you two dating?"

Simon chokes on his drink, and Reid laughs into his. Callahan glares at the both of them.

⠀⠀⠀ "No!", Simon yelps, "Why-why would you think that?"

Callahan rolls her eyes.

⠀⠀⠀ Elsie shrugs, "You've been looking at each other weirdly all night."

⠀⠀⠀ "We're not dating", Callahan reassures Elsie dryly, ignoring the ache of her heart, "He's too obsessed with Clary."

⠀⠀⠀ "What the fuck!?", Simon glares at her, " _Why would you say that_?"

⠀⠀⠀" _Because it's true Simon_ ", she whips her head around, "You've your head so far up Clary's ass that you cant come to terms with the fact that she doesn't like you!"

⠀⠀⠀ "What the hell is your problem with me liking Clary?", he demands, "It's not like I'm interfering with her life or anything. At least I'm fucking respectful about it."

⠀⠀⠀ Callahan scowls, "I dunno. Maybe it's because you wont think about yourself for once! Pining after Clary for this long is unhealthy Simon. You act like the sun shines out of her ass. And as much as I love her,  _it doesn't_! There are plenty of people that would date you without you having to be in love with them for god knows how long!"

⠀⠀⠀ " _What_ , like you for example?!", he shouts sarcastically, "Why would you have sex with me otherwise?"

⠀⠀⠀ "Uh, what's going on?", Elsie shifts uncomfortably, but the two are too blinded by their rage to notice her.

⠀⠀⠀Callahan raises her eyebrow, her jaw set in a hard line, "Are you insinuating that I had sex with you because I'm in love with you? Are you seriously fucking doing this? Because if you are Simon,  _how fucking dare you_! We're both equally to blame for that! I wouldn't have done it if you didn't want to. I am NOT in love with you, nor have I ever been in love with you. I'm not a hopeless fucking puppy doting after you like you are to Clary. So  _fuck you_  Simon!"

She storms out after that, not even stopping to say goodbye to Clary, or Matt.

⠀⠀⠀ " _Shit_ ", Simon swears loudly, his hands threaded through his hair.

⠀⠀⠀ Reid takes a deep breath, " _Wow_. If that wasn't sexual tension then I don't know what was."

⠀⠀⠀ "Shut up, Reid."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "ignoring the ache of her heart" lmao sure cal


	7. it's a war in here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ⠀⠀⠀ "Do you hate me?", he asks.
> 
> ⠀⠀⠀ She sighs heavily, like she's deflating, all the anger and bite dissipates from her tone, "No Simon. I could never hate you. You're my best friend."

**Simon is sort of an idiot. It's not that he doesn't sort of also blame Callahan, he just acknowledges that he's really fucking stupid.**

After Callahan had left the bar last night, Simon was still blinded by adrenaline brought on by anger. So some stupid part of him thought it would be perfectly fine to march up to Clary (IN FRONT OF THE OTHER PERSON WHO LIKES HER) and tell her how he felt. Needless to say it went badly. Matt had glared at him the entire time and Clary had stared at him sadly for way too long. So he just left, feeling totally embarrassed and upset (wether it be because of Callahan or Clary he wasn't sure).

His personal life was kind of a mess. One of his best friends hated him, the other one pitied him, and his bandmate thought he was a total jerk.

As much as he hated to admit it, he needed Cal back. She was the only one who could rationalise what he'd done, and help him sort out his feelings. She was his rock and he couldn't believe he hadn't noticed until now. It was frankly disappointing that he had to go through this much with her to realise how important she was to him. Not to mention the mess that were his feelings for her, he had no fucking clue how to make sense of them, they were nothing like how he felt about Clary, and he had no hope of figuring them out in comparison.

 _Jesus christ what did he even have to lose?_ He thought, looking at his phone.  _It's not like she can hate me anymore than she probably already does_.

He grabs his phone and dials Cal's number, hoping to god that she will pick up. Five rings pass but he refuses to hang up, let it go to bloody voicemail.

It goes to voicemail.

⠀⠀⠀"Cal, you probably hate me", he sighs, "But please call me back. I need your help."

He calls her again straight after.

She picks up after two rings.

⠀⠀⠀ " _What_  Simon?", her voice is hoarse, like she has been crying and his heart fucking breaks, "What the fuck could you possibly want from me now?"

⠀⠀⠀ "Do you hate me?", he asks.

⠀⠀⠀ She sighs heavily, like she's deflating, all the anger and bite dissipates from her tone, " _No_  Simon. I could never hate you. You're my best friend."

He doesn't cry when she says that, not at all.

⠀⠀⠀ "Are you crying?", she asks.

⠀⠀⠀ " _No_ ", his voice cracks,  _he is crying_.

⠀⠀⠀ "You're crying butt face", now she is crying, "Stop fucking crying, you're making me cry."

⠀⠀⠀ "I thought you were never going to talk to me again", he mutters, laying back on his bed and clutching his pillow.

⠀⠀⠀ "You're so melodramatic"

⠀⠀⠀ "I am not"

⠀⠀⠀ "Yeah you are."

He sighs.

⠀⠀⠀ "You told Clary", she says, "That you're in love with her."

⠀⠀⠀ "I told her that I liked her."

⠀⠀⠀ "I thought you were in love with her."

⠀⠀⠀ "I don't know what love is."

⠀⠀⠀ She pauses, "Yeah you do", she leaves it at that, "Clary will get over it in time. In the meantime you're stuck with me loser."

⠀⠀⠀ "Shit man, I can't deal with that", Simon teases.

⠀⠀⠀ "I hate you."

⠀⠀⠀ "Fuck I miss you."

⠀⠀⠀ Callahan laughs, "It's been like six hours Simon."

⠀⠀⠀ "Yeah but we were mad at each other for six hours. I miss ' _not mad_ ' you."

⠀⠀⠀ "Come over", she says, "We can eat cookies and watch Star Wars."

⠀⠀⠀ "Okay", he grins.

⠀⠀⠀ "Bye Simon."

⠀⠀⠀ "Bye."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao this is so dramatic


	8. falling out of love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Across the room her phone buzzes – the ringtone a six second sound byte of Poe Dameron telling Finn that he looked good in his jacket. She bites her lips, and shifts slowly out of Simon's grip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can u tell i love star wars

**Callahan tries not to think anything more of the way Simon is holding her.**

(They're wrapped up on his living room couch; one arm around her shoulders and the other on her thigh. Her head is tucked under his chin and with her hands she clutches Simon's Star Wars blanket – the one he has with Leia's face on it – over them.)

She is perfectly content with the stable friendship that they both cherish. Anything more would feel wrong to her. (Or at least this is what she tells herself).

She loves Simon, he's her best friend, of course she does. She loves him like she she loves Clary and Reid.

He is her everything. However sometimes (she knows) she does not appreciate him enough. She is her happiest when they are together, regardless of what they are doing – she'll admit, she even likes it when she has to listen to his stupid poetry about Clary. She realises now that even  _if_  he is in love with Clary, he still sides with her when they have arguments (real or fake). He is there for her when Clary and Reid cannot be.

Her mind drifts back to the conversation she had with Clary a few weeks ago, where Clary made it very clear that she thought Simon and Callahan belonged together. This time her heart aches and her head pounds – she can't fathom having  _feelings_  for Simon. It makes her feel confused, angry even. Almost as if she is mad at Clary for suggesting it, when she is so content with the simplicity of their friendship already.

She cannot think about what they could be – it terrifies her, the idea of romantic feelings and her emotional codependency with Simon already, becoming entwined. Simply, she does not want to lose Simon and if entering into a relationship runs the risk of that happening then she is automatically terrified of the prospect.

In theory, she could be in love with Simon ( _she_ , for the record,  _is not_ ) and could have been in love with him for years. But she would still not jeopardise a relationship so important to her by revealing these feelings.

⠀⠀⠀ " _Cal_ ", Simon presses his hand into her thigh, unwarranted her breath hitches (she rationalises this as a physical response to memories), she blinks back into reality.

⠀⠀⠀ "Sorry", she whispers.

He breathes out a laugh, his gaze returning to the TV screen. His hand tightens around her shoulder, pulling her closer. They're watching Star Wars Episode V needless to say. They'd been making ridiculous comments on and off about whatever they found funny before Callahan had 'switched off'. She guessed Simon had made a joke and when she hadn't responded he grew concerned.

She scrunches up her nose, confused. Everything about her entire life right now leaves her totally fucked in the brain.

She grasps Simon's hand on her thigh, lacing her fingers with his. Hoping she can at least get  _some_  semblance of clarity at this time. His fingers respond as such, clutching her fingers back – he softly nuzzles his chin into the back of her hair, in a gesture of comfort. He does not know what for, but what counts is that he does it anyway.

Across the room her phone buzzes – the ringtone a six second sound byte of Poe Dameron telling Finn that he looked good in his jacket. She bites her lips, and shifts slowly out of Simon's grip.

⠀⠀⠀ "Gotta get that", she mutters, "It's probably Clary."

Simon bristles at the mention of Clary, but pauses the movie. She steps over the wooden stool on which her phone rests, she collapses in the red beanbag next it.  
  


 

FROM:  **Hairy McClary**  
 _I FEEL SO BAD_

FROM:  **Hairy McClary**  
 _SIMON CONFIDED IN ME_

FROM:  **Hairy McClary**  
 _BUT I DIDNT EVEN HAVE THE_  
 _GUTS TO EVEN SAY ANYTHING_

TO:  **Hairy McClary**  
 _a bit late to the party baby_  
 _it's been four days_  
  


 

⠀⠀⠀ Callahan looks up at Simon, who's jaw is clenched only so much that she notices it, "What's up with you Lewis?"

⠀⠀⠀ He shoots her an unimpressed look, pursing his lips, "I'm realising that Clary never liked me like I thought she could've."

⠀⠀⠀ She nods, returning to her conversation with Clary, "You let that thought fester as I finish up with this, why don't 'cha."  
  


 

FROM:  **Hairy McClary**  
 _I really don't want to lose him_

FROM:  **Hairy McClary**  
 _But I also don't want to lead him on_

TO:  **Hairy McClary**  
 _don't worry babe, give him time. it will take time, but he will get over it. you will get over it. it will be fine._

TO:  **Hairy McClary**  
 _i have to go, as i am with the one in question and i am helping him through the stages of grievance_

FROM:  **Hairy McClary**  
 _What is he grieving?!_

TO:  **Hairy McClary**  
 _the sudden loss of his feelings for you_  
  


 

She places her phone on silent and crawls back over to the couch with Simon. Like a small child he holds his arms out, Callahan like the good friend she is settles into them. She can hear all the words that Simon cannot bring himself to say as he wraps his arms around her and hugs her tight.

⠀⠀⠀ "Simon", she grasps his hand which is wrapped around her middle, "Maybe you loved Clary, maybe you didn't. It's okay if you never figure that out. You can feel love differently towards different people. People don't fit into the mould of love, love fits the mould of people. Don't beat yourself up about it, okay, I'd hate to see you do that over something you can't help. And Simon, it's okay to fall out of love. Feelings aren't eternal. It's okay to accept that Clary is your best friend."

⠀⠀⠀ He sighs into her shoulder, " _You're_  my best friend Cal."

⠀⠀⠀ She shrugs, "So is Clary."

He presses his lips ever so lightly to her shoulder, and with that she is content.


	9. falling into love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She doesn't even just like Simon. This is worse, so much worse; she's actually in love with her best friend.

**It only took one month and three days for Callahan, Maureen and Clary to find time to hang out, but it was worth it. They were settled in Clary's surprisingly spacious living room – scratchy (but _warm_ ) woollen blankets draped over their legs**, themed PJ's, shoddily braided hair, with a pile of old board games to their right, mugs of hot chocolate, and plates of cookies to their left.

⠀⠀⠀ "Cal, truth or dare", a grin grows on Maureen's face.

⠀⠀⠀ Callahan groans, "Maureen, dude, c'mon.  _Truth or dare_! What are we twelve?"

⠀⠀⠀ Clary rolls her eyes, "Go with it you ass."

⠀⠀⠀ A sigh, "Truth."

' _Predictable_ ' is what Clary mouths at her.

⠀⠀⠀ "Okay", Maureen is obviously in her element, and Callahan gets the idea that Maureen never really got the female companionship that she wanted (so Cal will humour her, because she is not a bad person), "What's the deal with you and Simon?"

⠀⠀⠀ " _Ugh_ ", Callahan lets her head fall into her hands, "Jesus christ,  _every time_!"

Maureen and Clary rolls their eyes simultaneously, they've both heard (CONSTANTLY) about how Callahan and Simon are ' _just friends_ ' and could never possibly be anything more (a common rebuttal to this from Clary is to remind her that they have in fact had sex twice).

⠀⠀⠀"Fucking lies", Maureen exclaims, "Tell us the truth Cal! It's not as if we'll tell Simon."

⠀⠀⠀ "Stop lying to  _yourself_ ", Clary adds, nodding vigorously.

Callahan swallows the lump in her throat, and rubs her hands over her face. She settles herself so her head is in the middle of the circle and she is looking up at the ceiling.

⠀⠀⠀"I didn't have any  _bad_  relationships", Callahan sets her hands on her stomach, "Sure I had some assholes, everyone has. But all my break-ups have been mutual. We have never stayed friends, that hasn't mattered to me  _really_. And I can't say that I know what love - in romantic terms - actually is. But I'm not even scared of finding love, I'm just scared of loosing it. I know that love doesn't last forever – its only logical, love is a chemical reaction and chemical reactions fizzle out,  _eventually_  they wear off. Things always get in the way... But Simon,  _god Simon_. Simon is my entire fucking world", Callahan closes her eyes, she forgets this sometimes, "Clary I love you, and you are my best friend – but Simon is... I can't even describe it to you, it's so fucking profound... If I liked him I could never tell him because I would be so scared of us never having our friendship again. I am terrified of loosing him..."

⠀⠀⠀ " _Cal_ ", Maureen says softly, her eyebrows cinched together, she spares a glance at Clary (who looks like how Maureen feels), "Callahan, what you feel about Simon – that's what love is honey."

⠀⠀⠀ Callahan shakes her head, "No –  _no_ , guys."

⠀⠀⠀ "Cal", Clary cuts her off softly, "Babe, we're serious. We're not saying this because we want to live out a fantasy through you – we're saying it because we genuinely believe it. What you feel about Simon... that's something that I've wanted to feel since I first found out what love was."

⠀⠀⠀ "He's my best friend", Callahan blinks.

⠀⠀⠀ "We know that."

⠀⠀⠀ "Cal", Maureen says, "Can I ask you a question?"

⠀⠀⠀ "Yeah, sure."

⠀⠀⠀ "Do you want to be with him right now? I'm not trying to say that you  _don't_  want to be with us – but do you want to be with him?"

⠀⠀⠀ Callahan pauses for a long time, "Yes."

⠀⠀⠀ "Consider that you're in love with him", Clary says, placing a hand on Cal's arm, "Please consider it. I don't want you missing out on something that will be so good for you."

Callahan considers it.

And she hates it. She hates that they're right. That she's thinking about Simon right now. That she wants to tell Simon all the funny things she's done today. That she gets butterflies in her stomach when she thinks of how he touches her–

_Jesus fucking christ_.

She doesn't even just  _like_ Simon. This is worse, so much worse; she's actually  _in love_  with her best friend.

She is totally 100% in love with him, and she never fucking knew it.

Her mind drifts back to all the times she had told Clary (and even that one time she told Simon) that she wasn't in love with him.

⠀⠀⠀ " _Shit_ ", she whispers, "What the hell am I going to do now?"


	10. look me in the eyes and tell me you love me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ⠀⠀⠀ "Simon", she begs, "Say something."

She refuses to tell him for weeks. No matter the pressure from Clary and Maureen (and apparently Matt too, who had been " _secretly rooting for the hot nerd couple_ " – that had been a fucking laugh, and also not totally unexpected because he clearly wanted Simon out of the way so he could pursue Clary). Regardless Callahan can't actually think of a proper reason as to why she wont tell him. There's not  _really_  anything in her way except for her own cowardice.

She finds that hiding this from him only creates a rift in their friendship – one bigger than what would probably result if she told him. She decides to do it when Simon has asked to hang out for the  _sixth_ time and she's about to tell him that she's already got plans (which she doesn't). Instead of a measly excuse that she's sure he doesn't believe – because he knows her better than he knows himself – she agrees and invites him over.

It feels as if butterflies crash against the walls of her stomach, and her nerves sky rocket to heights she thought not possible when she hears the knock at her apartment door. She opens it, and Simon is standing there on the other side, looking,  _frankly_ , quite pissed off.

⠀⠀⠀"Hey Simon."

He purses his lips, and walks inside.

⠀⠀⠀ Callahan shuts the door behind him with a sigh, "What's wrong Simon?"

⠀⠀⠀ " _What's wrong_!?", he turns on her, "What's wrong? Seriously Callahan!"

⠀⠀⠀ Callahan scowls, "Yes Simon,  _seriously_! What's wrong? You can't expect me to  _just know_  these things!"

⠀⠀⠀ Simon laughs cynically, "Okay, let's start with, why have you been ignoring me? Don't think I don't notice! It's been two weeks! Fourteen whole days! You reply to my texts with a few words or not at all, you ignore all my calls, you don't talk to me when we see each other! What the hell is happening? What did I do wrong?"

Her heart aches.

⠀⠀⠀ "You did nothing wrong."

⠀⠀⠀ "Why're you ignoring me then?"

Callahan takes a deep breath, she realises that this is a thing she cannot verbalise. None of the words that she knows could express to Simon how much he means to her.

⠀⠀⠀ "Cal?"

⠀⠀⠀ " _Look_ , Simon", she tries anyway, "I cant even begin to express to you how much this scares me. I'm so afraid I'll lose you–"

⠀⠀⠀ "...Are you about to tell me that you like me?"

Callahan pales. She cant for the life of her tell if his tone of voice is pitying, hopeful or scared. She wishes that Simon wasn't so god damn perceptive.

Instead of speaking she looks up at him with her eyes wide and bobs her head up and down in the slightest of movements.

⠀⠀⠀ "Is- is that why you've not spoken to me?", he asks, and she still cant figure out how he feels about this, "Because you're scared?"

⠀⠀⠀ "Yeah", she swallows, "I- I sort of love you."

⠀⠀⠀ "Sort of?"

⠀⠀⠀"I love you."

He nods, careful and calculated. She feels something in her throat, ready to spill if he stays silent a single second longer

He does and she  _swears_ that she almost breaks down in fucking tears.

⠀⠀⠀ "Simon", she begs, "Say something."

Instead he has the nerve to take her head in his hands and kiss her. It's like kissing him for the first time, like she comes alive.

She is breathless when he pulls away - despite the kiss lasting a mere six seconds.

⠀⠀⠀ "Say it", she demands, "You have to say it."

⠀⠀⠀ "I love you."

She can't believe her ears. After so long, unwittingly pining after Simon, after so long of being unhappy -  _finally_.

⠀⠀⠀ "Are you serious?"

⠀⠀⠀ He laughs, "Yes,  _yes_. I don't know when, but god it was terrible when I figured it out."

⠀⠀⠀ "Clary forced me to realise two weeks ago... that's why I'd been ignoring you. I was scared of you finding out, and I was scared of loosing you..."

⠀⠀⠀ "Clary knows?"

⠀⠀⠀ Callahan sighs, " _Everyone_  knows. Even  _Reid_  wants us together."

Simons eyes light up and Callahan feels the unbeatable urge to kiss him again. She does, just a peck on his mouth this time.

⠀⠀⠀ "What was that for."

⠀⠀⠀ "My body isn't listening to my brain."

There a pause in which Callahan nor Simon can hardly comprehend what has just happened.

⠀⠀⠀ "This is insane", Simon mutters, "A few months ago, we were so adamant that us having sex meant literally nothing."

⠀⠀⠀ "I think we were both in denial. You were blinded by Clary, and I, well I was just blinded by my own stubbornness.... I tried to pass off my feelings as friendship, but now that I think about it, wanting to fuck the living daylights out of you isn't really friendship."

⠀⠀⠀ Simon's eyes darken, "Don't say shit like that."

⠀⠀⠀ "Shit like what?", Callahan asks, confused.

⠀⠀⠀ "Shit like, wanting to fuck the living daylights out of me."

⠀⠀⠀ She smirks, " _Why_?"

⠀⠀⠀"You know very well why."

And so it ends, with what it started with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last chapter lol,,,  
> i love cal and simon but this could be so much better than it is


End file.
